is preschool the new college tuition?

a very dumb rich comparison

Hey fam and welcome back to dumb rich. I am coming at you hot while preparing for a scary busy week of meetings on the OUTSIDE. As someone who works from home, I try to stay inside 90% of the time. This week, I have meetings on island (translation: leaving Brooklyn and going to Manhattan) four out of five days. This is incredibly off brand. They are all for good reason — recording a podcast I’m super excited about, interviewing a guest for the blog and having a few new prospect meetings that you guys would love. I need the entire long weekend to recharge. Pls don’t disturb me at that time. I have big plans to do absolutely nothing.

Okay anyway literally the best time of the year is coming up. BACK 2 SCHOOL. The money I would pay for the high of receiving the school supply list and checking things off. Setting up new binders, tabs, pencil cases. Color-coding notebooks. I need to stop before things get weird but inject that back to school feeling into my veins pleasseeee.

So yeah since I haven’t been to school in like 10ish years (feeling old lol), conversations around back to school have started to revolve around my friends and their young children (probably normal). After hearing about their preschool plans (apparently I’ll need to learn “new math” one day) and imagining future plans for my own, I started researching early education in NYC.

Spoiler alert! I knew it would be expensive, but preschool sometimes costs the same as… college? Haha. Cool cool.

So here’s the comparison through a very niche lens. I tried to capture the few main cohorts — some of these are more exclusive and others are just “regular” options, if “regular” is even a thing here.

1. Universal 3-K = UCLA with a Full Scholarship
   Getting into Universal 3-K is basically hitting the NY lottery. It’s completely free for residents, but seats are limited. NY has incredible public schools, so I’d say it’s similar to paying in-state tuition or even getting a full ride to top ranked state school, such as University of Michigan or UCLA. For residents of California, UCLA is $15,700, whereas out-of-state tuition is $53,302. Imagine just getting an education of that caliber for free? Yes, please. Let’s get into how much other 3s programs cost so we can compare the value of Universal 3-K.

2. Montessori Programs = Northeastern University
   Montessori schools teach practical life skills alongside academics, which is why it reminds me of my Alma Mater, Northeastern University and its co-op program. (Cue me moonlighting as a Northeastern tour guide.) Students there spend half the year working real jobs for real money, which absolutely prepared me for my first full time job.

   Price tags are hefty for these real life skills. Montessori in NYC is $43,380 and Northeastern University tuition is just a casual $64,990. Montessori only goes up to Age 6, but could be a feeder into private schools or a great foundation to continue to public schools. Anecdotally, many people in my circle that left Northeastern ended up receiving full time job offers from their co-op jobs. Your child will also likely be able to slice a cucumber better than Kendall Jenner after completing a Montessori program. Life skills, acquired!

3. Baby Ivies such as Horace Mann, Dalton, etc. = Adult Ivies, Princeton, Harvard, Yale
   Let’s choose Horace Mann vs. Harvard (where Rory Gilmore should’ve went). Horace Mann’s 3-year-old program runs $46,930 for half-day or $65,370 for full day. The good news is, it doesn’t go up from there. The tuition is the same through 12th grade. “Exmissions” are also a huge concern when choosing preschool, and if you get into the 3s program, you are more likely to continue your future education at Horace Mann.
   
   Harvard is $59,320 for tuition and fees. So technically, college will be… cheaper. If your child does the Horace Mann to Harvard track, you’d spend $915,180 for 3s - 12th grade and $237,280 for college, bringing the grand total to $1,152,460. YAY.

   **Personal Research - Brooklyn Schools**
   This may not be your neighborhood gossip, but my neighborhood cannot stop talking about Ciara and Russ Wilson moving to town. One of my neighbors told me she saw Ciara riding around on a SCOOTER? Are u kidding me??? I can’t imagine how insufferable I’d become if I ran into Ciara at school drop off. It would become my entire personality.
   
   Packer is a popular school in our neighborhood, running around $40,895 per year. Though I know absolutely nothing about it, I’ve started saving to send my future kid there, just in case Ciara decides to send her children there.

This doesn’t even include camp. My one opportunity to send my future kids away for weeks and it’s not considered “neglect”. Probs will be worth every penny. Jk jk (but not?).

There is also an entire universe of consultants that help kids get into these schools. I was deep in the Reddit threads (obviously) and someone posed a serious question asking how to handle their disappointment that their child was waitlisted from the 2s program of their choice. They were debating a cross-town move to make it work.

I imagine this is stressful and tbh I don’t have the fucking capacity. I understand why people outsource this. This service says that the average parent spends $80,000 per year on tuition. They do offer an outcome based service and only charge you if your child is accepted into at least 1 of 5 agreed upon schools.

I wonder if there are services that help with any type of financial aid application? I will say every school I looked up had a lot of need-based financing information but I don’t know what “need-based” actually means in this crazy world!

palette cleanser after learning cost of tuition

I would like to vow to never to stress over my kid going to preschool. But I can’t really promise that so let’s move on to something more fun — adult back to school shopping.

I don’t make the rules, but everyone needs multiple notebooks:

• First, we absolutely need these cheeky notepads to write our quick reminders

• This notebook for all of our manifestations

• This planner to track our priorities and map out the day (also comes in this fun print!)

• For funsies we obviously need stickers.

Cool mom drop off vibes. I would be lazy probs (unless I had the potential to run into Ciara):

• I know for sure I’ll be wearing these sunglasses to block any stares. I already own them and they are the perfect city sunglasses that go with every athleisure look.

• I bought a Polo fleece last year and wore it more than my winter coat, and this one is already sold out on Shopbop so grab it on Saks before it sells out.

• Then obviously a stir-up legging and a fuzzy slipper — two options: splurge vs save.

• If I knew I could run into Ciara, I’d wear this Row sweater that fucking everyone is influencing me to buy but I am trying to be STRONG. I instead will purchase this Reformation dupe.

• These loafers that are THE moment but don’t come in Size 35 because… wtf?? Please buy them so I can pretend I have them. Pair them with the softest socks ever.

• The classic jeans that look good on everyone.

• Lastly, I’d wear these glasses to look more put together despite having 20/20 vision.

That’s it for today!!!! Manifesting my future toddler somehow getting a full ride to preschool? Is that a thing? xoxoxo chat next week.